If you’re going through a divorce, the holidays can be a minefield. From navigating your custody schedule, coordinating travel plans, hosting holiday parties and purchasing gifts, you’re probably tempted to throw in the towel. But before you call it quits, here’s a list of tips to keep in mind during the holidays so you can stay sane.
1. Take a Deep Breath:
When things get stressful, remember to take a deep breath. And then remember you can get through this. Not only that, you can do this!
2. Manage Your Expectations:
Perfection is impossible. Don’t make yourself live up to an unrealistic expectation. You will only cause yourself misery. And you’ll likely cause those you love the same.
Most of us have an idea in our heads of how the holidays are “suppose” to go. Rather than inspiring us, the idea of “how things are suppose to be” haunts us. It’s a constant reminder of how much we have failed to live up to an unreasonable expectation.
Instead of focusing on an idea of perfection, focus on the experience. Be fully present with your children and family members. Do activities that bring joy. If something isn’t bringing joy, don’t be afraid to move on and try something else. Shake things up!
It’s you and your families’ holiday, no one else’s. Give yourself permission to do it your way.
3. Lean into Your Faith
Our faith gives us a source of strength in trying times. When you can’t seem to get into the holiday spirit, lean into your faith. It doesn’t matter what your faith is. The holiday season gives us a chance to remember the higher callings we aspire to as human beings.
4. Embrace the Holiday Spirit
The Holidays are about more than gifts, parties, and baking. They are a time to experience and remember higher callings. Things like love, kindness, grace and mercy. Extending good will to another human being can turn your entire mindset around.
Try taking a break from all the party planning, cookie baking and holiday shopping. Instead, think of something kind you can do for your closet loved ones. Then, in your every day life, find a stranger you can show kindness to. Whatever you do, make sure you do it without any expectation of recognition or reward. In fact, it’s better to do your random acts of kindness anonymously.
5. Count Your Blessings
Speaking of changing your mindset, practicing gratitude can increase your mood exponentially. When you feel your mind going to the negative, try to notice some of the positives in your life. It may be difficult at first. But, like any mental muscle, the more you use it, the stronger it will become.
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