What to Expect When Going Through a Divorce

Many people going through a divorce are so afraid of the unknown they try to convince themselves that it is better to stay married, regardless of how unhealthy their marriage is.  Typical sources of this fear are concern for your children and financial stressors. When you don’t know what will happen in these areas, it can be difficult to move forward with a divorce- even when you know it’s the right decision.  That is why we have created the list below- to help you understand what to expect when going through a divorce.

Custody

Without a doubt, concern for the children is the number one reason couples do not separate when they really should.  This is true even when the children are placed in danger by being present during acts of domestic violence.  While divorce can cause problems for children, on the whole, children are resilient.  It is often better to remove them from the hostile environment rather than let them stay.  If you are concerned about who gets the children after a couple separates, find out more by reading our Basics of Child Custody Guide.

Spousal Support

The second reason couples stay together is concern over the finances.  If you and your spouse separate, how will you pay the bills?  If you don’t know how you will make it financially, you should consult with one of our attorneys to create a plan of action.  It is likely you are a “dependent spouse,” meaning you depend upon your spouse for financial assistance.  North Carolina law allows for a dependent spouse to seek payments from the “supporting spouse.”  If you are concerned your spouse will not pay, there are legal mechanisms we can discuss to make sure he or she does make the support payments.  Find out more about spousal support payments by reading our Alimony Guide.

Divorce is Emotional

When couples decide to separate, it is common to experience grief, pain, confusion, and fear.  Over time these emotions will ease and allow you to transition into the next phase of your life.  But while they are fresh, the can wreck havoc in your life.  We’ve noticed that clients who begin seeing a therapist for individual counseling are often much better off emotionally and mentally than those who do not.  It’s important to seek emotional stability during this time because of the ugly truth: the law treats divorce like a business transaction.

Divorce is a Business Transaction

While divorce is an emotional process, the law treats it very much like a business transaction.  That is hard for a lot of people to remember. Grief, anger and depression can drive your decisions throughout the divorce process.  Unfortunately, they also blind you to financial realities and prevent you from making rational decisions that would be in your best interest.  Because of your anger, you may try to seek revenge or use litigation to punish your spouse.  Because of your grief, you may not be able to make up your mind.  You might end up going back and forth with your attorney about what to do fifteen times before making a final decision.  Both scenarios will likely result in unnecessary litigation and attorney’s fees.

If you are in the process of undergoing a divorce and are seeking assistance contact us today.  We’ve been where you are and have helped many clients through this difficult process to move on with their lives.

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